Memory Loss? 

I feel like ever since I got out of the psych ward, my memory is fucked. I literally can remember being 3 years old up until about 12, then things start getting fuzzy. At first I thought maybe it was from all the drugs I did in high school, but then why wouldn’t I remember before high school? Maybe it’s my medication, maybe it’s because I have 3 different voices plus my own thoughts going on in my head that I don’t have time to remember things. I’ve been with my fiancé for 3 1/2 years now and she’ll say something like “remember when we first go together and we…” And I don’t remember it at all, it’s insane. I’ve read before that people with mental “issues” are more likely to suffer from memory loss than a “normal” person would. I’ve tried mediation to become one with my inner self and maybe bring back some memories that I don’t remember? How can I remember what I wore for my first day of school in elementary but not what I did last week? I’m not currently on any “drugs”, I smoke weed and take my medications everyday. Now I will admit I’m really bad at taking my medication on time every day, every night. Since I have no job and don’t attend college, my sleeping schedule is the same as my finances. She goes to work at 3:00pm comes home at 2am. I usually don’t wake up till about 12:30, take my vyvanse, saphris, and Ativan. I work out for about a half hour, and then watch Netflix literally all day until she comes home at 2am. We eat our dinner, smoke a little weed, watch Arrow, then off to bed about 4:30-5am. I take my Effexor, Saprhis and Ativan right before bed. I’m very aware of how unhealthy our sleeping is but with my anxiety and constant worrying, there’s no way I’d be able to sleep if she wasn’t home with me. I gotta work on this and maybe my memory will be better:) one step at a time, right?

3 comments

  1. LaVancia Phoenix · November 19, 2015

    I recently switched morning psych pills from respiridone to abilify. I works good until about 4 pm and I start to get tired and then I literally walk in the room forgetting I need to put socks on. Stand there thinking, what did I come in here for and about 2 minutes later it hits me…I think its because my thoughts race more at night and until I get my Seroquel in my system around 8pm I take the pill then an hour or so later I am out…but today I am a bit different. I can’t believe it’s almost midnight and I am still awake…probably because I woke up and showered at 6am this morning (had like 7 hours of hard sleep). Anyways, will keep poking around your blog…looks nice. I also suffer with some anxiety and take klonopin for it as well as my Prozac…all for now, keep up with the therapeutic coping skills of writing (typing) your heart out…LaVancia

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    • yourenotaloneinthisworld · November 19, 2015

      Thank you! I’ve been thinking about asking my doctor about abilify. Yes I’m so happy with this site, I can just type my heart out and not worry what people are thinking. Again, thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      • LaVancia Phoenix · November 19, 2015

        Yup. I haven’t had one degrading or negative comment slip through wordpress.com’s spam filter…so I agree, I am very pleased with their services and am glad Authorhouse publishing referred me to them as a part of my purchase….Have a good one! LaVancia

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