I feel like ever since I got out of the psych ward, my memory is fucked. I literally can remember being 3 years old up until about 12, then things start getting fuzzy. At first I thought maybe it was from all the drugs I did in high school, but then why wouldn’t I remember before high school? Maybe it’s my medication, maybe it’s because I have 3 different voices plus my own thoughts going on in my head that I don’t have time to remember things. I’ve been with my fiancé for 3 1/2 years now and she’ll say something like “remember when we first go together and we…” And I don’t remember it at all, it’s insane. I’ve read before that people with mental “issues” are more likely to suffer from memory loss than a “normal” person would. I’ve tried mediation to become one with my inner self and maybe bring back some memories that I don’t remember? How can I remember what I wore for my first day of school in elementary but not what I did last week? I’m not currently on any “drugs”, I smoke weed and take my medications everyday. Now I will admit I’m really bad at taking my medication on time every day, every night. Since I have no job and don’t attend college, my sleeping schedule is the same as my finances. She goes to work at 3:00pm comes home at 2am. I usually don’t wake up till about 12:30, take my vyvanse, saphris, and Ativan. I work out for about a half hour, and then watch Netflix literally all day until she comes home at 2am. We eat our dinner, smoke a little weed, watch Arrow, then off to bed about 4:30-5am. I take my Effexor, Saprhis and Ativan right before bed. I’m very aware of how unhealthy our sleeping is but with my anxiety and constant worrying, there’s no way I’d be able to sleep if she wasn’t home with me. I gotta work on this and maybe my memory will be better:) one step at a time, right?