Is something I do very seldom. I find myself regretting the past more than getting excited for what’s to come? And that might be because I really don’t feel like I can achieve much? I’ve told you before, I’ve failed at every job I’ve had, due to panic attacks and my voices tormenting me the entire day. I failed at college because of my anxiety and my fear of other people made going to a campus, terrifying. But lately my depression has been getting worse and worse.
I think it has something to do with the fact I’m 21, jobless, and watch tv literally all day until my girlfriend gets home. I decided to look into an online schooling program like SNHU and Devry. I’m really considering going back to school, but fully online, no classroom bullshit. I’m thinking of going for counseling, figured I’ve been to enough I can probably be one lol.
Not to sure if you’ve ever heard of Doctor on Demand? It’s an app, it’s amazing. My counsiler is actually on that app, and we talk face to face like FaceTime. If I could get a job like that, I would have no panic attacks.
I want to have a good job in the future because my girlfriend and I want to get married, have children and grow old together, happily not worried about money all the time. It’s going to be even harder for us to have kids since we’re both females lol. We’re going to have to pay probably a lot for in vitro fertilization, or even adoption.
Just trying to look forward, for once.