Patiently Waiting…

  As I sit in my living room waiting to hear my moms car honk so we can go to the doctors. I seen a few quotes on Pinterest that I thought would help some few people on here, and if not at least help me. The quote no body knows the real me, really spoke to me because it feels so true. I feel as if I’m happy/laughing etc on the outside because that’s what is expected of people. I literally feel like snapping maybe 3-4x a day but I don’t until I’m alone. Am I the only one that no matter what happens, I take it out on myself? It might not even be my fault, but my head makes me believe it is, and then there I am hitting my head against the wall. I can say proudly that it’s been a little over 3 years since I’ve cut myself, and that is a big achievement for someone who self harms. If it wasn’t for my fiancé I hate to say it but I’m sure I’d still be cutting myself. I hate saying “if it wasn’t for my fiance”. I want to feel that I’m living for myself? You know? 
  
^^^^ this is thee most accurate post I’ve seen about social anxiety on Pinterest. It opened my eyes, “if there’s enough people out there that feel this way for someone to make a meme, then I can’t be the only one that feels like this, I just can’t be!” 

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One comment

  1. leelah saachi · December 23, 2015

    What I am learning is that there is a REAL ME that embraces everything that happens to me and that never has been disturbed, can never be harmed, and the best . can never suffer. Just lovingly embracing it all, fully knowing who it is –
    takes practice to get there for sure, and my experience is that as soon as I opened up for help from the spiritual – that which is greater than “me” – i got answers from everywhere. Books fell in my lap, teachers and friends and masters appeared. I just had to open up to the possibility that there was more than suffering to be had for me. – I bless you in your highest being. It is a possibility that you would be helped by the book I wrote to help myself and others – you find it in the right menu at my blog. There are reviews at the Amazon-site so you can check if it may be for you. Please forgive me if this does not seem to fit you. I love you

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