So today is what?
Tuesday, January 19th? It’s 11:52 as I sit at my desk and write this, by the time I post it, it’ll probably be Wednesday lol. I’ve actually done a good amount of things today. My girlfriend woke me up around noon today, I took my meds, then we smoked a bowl, played a few rounds of BO3, made some lunch, then watched an episode of “Znation Season 2″, and then it was time for my love to go to work. After she headed off for work, I literally laid on the sofa, on WordPress until my girlfriend called me and told me she got to work okay. By now my meds where kicking in and all of a sudden I had this urge to get off my ass and do something with myself; instead of just laying there, wishing that I’d get up. I took a shower, threw my hair up on top of my head and actually did my makeup. Just getting up and “getting ready for the day”, made me feel like a whole new person. I felt “unstoppable”?
It’s a feeling that I seriously miss being able to feel! I got done my makeup and my dad calls, says hes coming to bring me some papers that came in the mail. After getting all ready, I go out to start my car to try and thaw it out, when I realize my gas tank was wayyyyy below E.
I immediately started feeling down. I mean seriously, it’s a very very rare occasion if I’m feeling “good enough” to even get out of bed, let alone get completely ready to leave the house, just to find out that I can’t? I literally came right back into the house, put on some sweats, and plopped down on the couch.
As I was getting ready to binge watch on Netflix, I hear my dad pull up (totally forgot he was coming!). I ran out to meet him, grabbed the mail from him and immediately, “Dad, if I follow you into town, will you fill my gas tank?” My dad is a pretty big sucker when it comes to me, he doesn’t usually say no, even now that I’m 21. He insisted on checking my oil (my cars been through a lot with me) even though I already knew it was fine. After checking the oil, I followed him down to the nearest “Sheetz” we have in town.
Now usually I’m a big pussy when it comes to pumping gas, I’m not too sure why; I think it’s because the other car is like right next to you, and the person on the other side of the pump…just awkward as hell. I try to avoid pumping my gas as much as I can, but today, today was different.
Today, I actually got out of my own car, and pumped my own gas. I’m on a fucking roll today! Gave my hugs n “love yous” to dad, and continued on my merry way into town.
Once I got into town, I stopped at my moms (really the only reason I was going into town in the first place) to have her help me fill out some paperwork. Damn insurance agency wants sooo much information from when I had my car accident. Anyway, today…it was super good.
I even found a new dentist and doctor that I’m going to attempt and go to. I have to make an appointment first, that right there will be a HUGE step into progress of recovering with anxiety!
I am super fucking proud of myself for today! I just wish I felt like this ALL THE TIME!
Now, Tomorrow’s Checklist….
- Get Up Around Same Time
- Hang out with my lady
- CALL DENTIST, MAKE APPOINTMENT FOR CLEANING
- CALL DOCTOR, MAKE APPOINTMENT FOR CHECKUP
- Run Dishwasher
- Get Ready to go into town
- Visit Mom and Pap.
- Come home
- Attempt Dinner!
Credits: Most of the photos I found online through Google but these are the links to the pictures that I could find:)
- Talking On The Phone With Anxiety
- Unstoppable MotherFuckers
- Gas Tank on E
- Change of Plans HoneyBooBoo
- Crazy Gas Pump Lady
If any of these links are spam or don’t work, I apologize. I found the images in Google, and posted what site it”says” it comes from.
Over and Out