Rant.

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of criticism towards Schizophrenia. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that each and every person is entitled to their own opinion, but oh dear lord some of you people really irk my nerves.

irkmynerves.jpg

For example, the other day a person decided to put her/his two cents into “what Schizophrenia is like to a Schizophrenic”. Now, I totally understand that I don’t walk around with a sign on my back saying “I’m a schizophrenic”. That’s what is really fucked up, this person knows that I AM a schizophrenic, but still decided to “guess” what it’s like for a Schizophrenic.

schizo.jpg

She/He says they believe that our “voices” are a part of us, apart of our soul trying to “climb” out of us, but “us” is the dominant part of our soul, that’s why we’re who we are today.

kevinhart.jpg

I just kind of sat there with the blank expression on my face and just kind of nodded before changing the subject. I didn’t speak up, because what the hell was i going to say without expressing what my “voices” tell me .

voices.jpg

I can’t believe this theory she/he has proposed. Due to the fact that my “voices” are not something I would ever imagine myself being or acting like. The things I hear on a day to day basis are things “normal” people can’t even imagine, thing’s I can’t even imagine, and I hear it constantly. I couldn’t stand up and start yelling “NO NO NO, WHY WOULD I EVER THINK ABOUT GRUESOME, AWFUL, THINGS?!” “THAT’S NOT ME, THAT’S NOT WHO I AM, YOU KNOW THIS!” But just saying that sounds crazy?

nightmare.jpg

Now I’m not saying that every day my voices are chatting up a storm in my head about murder and bloody scenes, but I’d also be lying if I said my head didn’t come up with fucked up shit. But there are still good days, where my voices actually seem “ok” with me, talk about nice things, cheer me on in life, and help me with day to day things. BUT THAT’S ON A GOOD DAY!

happypeople.jpg

If my voices were constantly positive, then hell yeah maybe I’d be able to accept this proposal on Schizophrenia. The fact that my voices aren’t ALWAYS the nicest, I can’t believe that this theory is even a possibility, I won’t believe it.

\I will admit, I don’t know EVERYTHING there is to know about Paranoid Schizophrenia, but I do my research, I read books, watch documentaries, and follow tons of Schizophrenic sites on WordPress and Pinterest. I don’t really read it, to see if I’m a “normal schizophrenic”, I totally understand we’re all different, our voices are different, our thoughts, emotions, etc. I honestly read it just to see if there is any hope that my “voices” one day will never be there.

_86138691_brainscans.png

Until I find a post that I find reasonable for ME, or something I find “ok” for ME to believe and have hope in, than I will.

imjustme.jpg

But for right now, my voices are my “voices” whether it’s “my soul’s”, my thoughts, or straight up my head making up shit, oh well it’s me. I can’t help that I’m a Schizophrenic anymore than you can help if your indian/white/black/straight/gay/american/etc.

labels.jpg

Every stigma in this damn world needs to end, whatever it is, just stop.

img_1112-160

Advertisements

17 comments

  1. Ioana · May 27, 2016

    I am very troubled and sad after having read your articles. My mother does seem to have all the symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia, just as I suspected when I did my research. The problem is I’m not sure if the doctors that she’s been to, did everything they could to help her. I am realising now how many things she keeps to herself just because she knows we wouldn’t understand and no one does understand. I was raised on her stories about how she’s being followed, how everyone is part of a plan to destroy her life and how she can’t trust anyone, she’s always suspicious of everything. I even remember her telling me about stuff she’s seen, but she doesn’t separate them from reality. She thinks she actually saw those things and doesn’t consider them hallucinations. Right now, even though she never mentioned voices in her head, I’m realising she’s been hearing them all along, but just can’t share that with us. Thank you so much for your insights. This has helped me and hopefully it will help my mom too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • yourenotaloneinthisworld · May 27, 2016

      I really hope you show your mom these post, to let her know she is not alone! There are multiple schizophrenics out there that simply can NOT separate their beliefs with reality. trust me, i’ve been there, it’s incredibly difficult. There is no reason why your mom can’t be a “functioning” schizophrenic. It takes time and patience, but it is worth it in the long run. It’s great her daughter is really trying to understand what she is going through, it’ll help her out a lot to have someone on her side. Let her take her time and talk about it when she is read, but i would definitely show her these post to try and open up about the things she is seeing/hearing.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ioana · May 27, 2016

    Hi! Do you have a certain article posted in your blog about what schizophrenia is to you, how it manifests and all. I know I can just google it, I did, several times, but it’s probably a little different from what you’d describe. Please give me a link if you have. I have been suspecting my Mom of suffering it, she’s always had all sorts of “moments” and she’s been treated many times, but she never told us about her actual diagnosis, can’t tell if the doctors gave her this diagnosis, but she definitely has the pills for it. She used to say the pills were helping her sleep, but once we did some research, we found it was more than that. She’s not really the shy type, but I’m realising that maybe she doesn’t want to acknowledge this disease publicly.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. annebella & kate · May 27, 2016

    I don’t pretend to know a lot about schizophrenia; but I do deal with my own mental health issues and yes- the assumptions that people make even about depression and anxiety, especially depression, that you should just “snap out of it” already….. my bff told me she didn’t believe in depression or seeing a psychiatrist. It’s hurtful when people open their big gaping holes and let ignorance fall out of it 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • yourenotaloneinthisworld · May 27, 2016

      Yes, I too have Depression and Anxiety. It’s crazy how many people actually don’t “believe in depression”. A few of my family members are guilty of being “non believers in mental health” which to me is just stupidity, but each to their own, right? lol.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Clemence · May 27, 2016

    Tha theory it’s so out of place, i’m getting really tired of people’s ignorance. It’s a shame you have to even listen to that kind of people. I will never understand why everyone needs to have an opinion on stuff they cannot even relate or understand.
    Though i didn’t understand if this person knew you suffer from it or they didn’t? I know it doesn’t change thw fact that they said something out of place, but you know, ….just curious

    Liked by 1 person

    • yourenotaloneinthisworld · May 27, 2016

      They definitely knew, they’re kind of a close friend that also suffers with other mental illnesses, just not a Schizophrenic. I just don’t think they’re too familiar speaking about Schizophrenia with me, so don’t know even they didn’t know how to state their beliefs.

      Like

  5. The Anxiety Chronicles · May 27, 2016

    I just had to laugh at the nonsense that came out of that person’s mouth. I don’t get it either. If a person does not personally have to deal with a specific mental illness, then I don’t think they should comment on what a lot of us go through. They could have asked you if it’s a certain way. But not assume your soul is tied into the voices that you say are pretty bad. I’m sorry you had to deal with that ignorance!

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.