These past few weeks I’ve been taken off my Ativan, and put onto Klonopin.
The reason I asked for new Anxiety medication was because I felt like a zombie. I could go into places but was seriously almost drooling and couldn’t even stay awake. I wrecked my car and broke my leg a year back due to them damn things anyways. I wanted to feel like I was actually able to do things and enjoy them, not just go do them and hardly be awake for it!
At first I wasn’t noticing much of a difference when they made the switch. But omg this past week has been amazing, I’ve gone into places, a lot of places! I’ve spoken to random people in line at the market, ordered food on the phone, and even answered the door for the pizza man! Can you believe it?!
I never thought I’d be able to go into a business, feel a little anxious, and be able to just “brush it off”. No vomiting, no constant “where’s the bathroom”, “what if this, what if that”. It’s more like, hey babe we’re here, let’s go in!
I know Nichole is so proud of me, but I am too! I’ve probably mentioned it just a handful of times to her, “can you freaking believe I just did that?!”
Since my new meds I’ve:
- Ate inside Red Robin! 7/10 anxiety this day.
- Walked through a mall!!! 6/10 anxiety. I even helped catch a stroller than got loose from a lady while she was breast feeding!
- Had a party for my Birthday and ENJOYED MYSELF. 2/10 anxiety this day. (it helped I was home).
- Went into a store and tried on shoes for with Nichole!!! 7/10 (very small store, made it a little hard).
- Walked up to our local ice cream place that’s CONSTANTLY PACKED! There’s no inside to the store, just a window you order, so I had to stand in line with Nikki for like 20 minutes! We even talked to a stranger about how amazing the ice cream there is. 6/10 anxiety, yes I know only a 6!!
- Watched FireWorks with Nikki and really enjoyed myself. 4/10 anxiety.
- Went into the store to buy the cat tree, cat food, etc. Including our local Market! 5/10 anxiety level.
- And today, walked into the biggest liquor store we have in town, which had like 7 people in it, plus workers. Of course Nikki was with me, but still! 3/10 anxiety!!!
I’m noticing something different happening with my anxiety and I love it! I even got a raise at work and talked to my boss on the phone! (*almost puked on that one*).
It feels good, it feels really good!