Is the only word I think of for how I feel today. As I stand in my moms back yard trying to stay under the tiny roof there is, smoking a cig even outside is icky. I went to my doctors yesterday, had a long talk about my meds. I came clean and told him how I haven’t been taking my Saphris (schizophrenic meds) because it makes me sick and I can’t enjoy things while on it. 

He agreed its time to start the shots of schizophrenic medication. So once a month I’ll be going to my moms (since she’s a nurse) and getting my shot. 

I think this will help since I never remember to take my Saphris. If you’re on Saphris this you know what I mean when I say ew! I have to take 4 a day and they’re not pills, they dissolve under your tongue. Idgaf if it’s black cherry or watermelon it taste like ass and I puke every time. It feels like you just swallowed an 8 ball of coke because your tongue throat and face go completely numb for about 30 minutes after taking them. You’re not allowed to drink or eat for 2 hours after taking it, wtf is that shit. 

I’m over Saphris. So bring on the voices for the next 3 months because that’s the soonest my doc could see me. Baby Jesus help me. 


November Photo A Day Challenge. 

“My Christmas Wishlist”

I’ll just go ahead and put everything that I hinted to Nikki and my parents that I wanted lol:) 

A PS4. 
Virtual Reality Headset for PS4. 
This exact bedspread from EBay. 
NARS foundation at Sephora. 
Kat Von D Immortal Eye Trio at Sephora. 
Sephora Favorites of eyeliner. 
New Jeans. 
New Joggers. 
Oil Diffuser. 

WoodWick Candles! My fav place to get a candle from. 
A newer crockpot. 
Blanket Scarf! 
New converse since the dog ate mine. 
Bath and Body Sets. 
New Mugs:) 
Call of Duty Infinite Warfare. And Call of Dity Modern Warfare Remastered collection. 
What are some things on your wish list? 


Attractions Of My Hometown. 

So when I say I’m from my hometown, I’m really from a little community that has surrounding towns seconds away, so these are pictures taken while driving from downtown (where I grew up) all the way up to where Nikki and I live now ( a different town but only 10 minute drive).

So leaving downtown (where Nikki and I grew up)..We have of course the trains. We’re big for our amount of trains and train tracks just in the middle of every damn street. 

Churches, one thing our hometown has A LOT of. In this picture above you’ll see one church but two different steeples, that’s because it’s two churches side by side. 
Our tiny hometown might have a lot of churches but we’re not slacking with the amount of liquor stores neither. Here is just one of the 2 on same street. 
Then, across the street from the liquor store we have Gianni’s Pizza. Our food selection sucks ass in our hometown. 
And then, wait a minute what’s that diagonally across from Gianni’s? Of course Foxs Pizza😂😂.

 Now up through downtown and we’re heading into the other small town that’s starting to become “booming”. Sooo many houses have been torn down for “businesses” lmfao. It’s just repeats of what we already have anyways. 
First thing you see when entering the next town? Jolly Rogers! A maw n paw liquor store of course! 
Next up? Another church! 
Next to the church n bar? Gotta have a library! 
Don’t forget the Rustic Touch country decor store. 
We have a lot of volunteer fire departments. Mainly 3/5 people you meet in our town is a volunteer fire fighter. 

We got a Rita’s like 6-7 years ago. I don’t like Rita’s so I don’t eat there, ever. They’re closed for the season right now anyways. 
And a few inches down from Rita’s we have yet another church. This is the church that continuously puts “protect our marriage” on their billboard. 👎🏼
Now onto the chain of fast foods our town calls restaurants. First up Dairy Queen (DQ). 
This restaurant opened up a few years ago. I’ve yet to try it but I’ve heard it’s bomb so I guess I should try it out sometime. 
These are in the same “plaza”. 
Our town might be little but next to all them food places? You need a “locked door”😂😂. 

Next to that, a Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC). 
Up next we got the “Banana Leaf” and “Asian Garden”. Ive ate here once in HS and got food poison, never ate there again. Food was alright tho. 
Our oldest and my favorite restaurant we have, Dennys. 
Next we have the ultimate liquor store, this is the liquor store that took me months to get the urge to go into, and the liquor store I went into on Black Friday! 
Across the street, we have a Pizza Hut. We have 3 lol. 

Next we have a Harley Davidson Bike Shop. Which I’m not sure why since this town is a broke joke. 
Then a Long John Silvers for our old folks:) 
Getting further down the strip we have a Burger King 👑. 

Then before heading up the mountain you have one last shopping plaza. It contains Dunhams Sports, Modern Nails, The Fitted Joint, Subway, Dollar General, Hookah Plus, and Ollies Bargain Outlet. 
Finally getting up into the mountain we have a tattoo parlor, and a mattress store. 
Then it’s all up hill from there… you pass a lot of oversized Trump signs on the way home. 
Yay we reached the top! 
Now you head down into the cut of the mountain to reach our little town we live in now. 
On the way down you’ll pass creeks and four wheeling routes. 
Behold the Castle! First thing you see when enetering our town. The Castle has a great story behind it and is now open for weddings and stuff. It’s actually for sale but for like 3 million dollars. 

See the Castle peaking up over the stone wall? 
Our town is very old and historic so yes this is the actual old jail of our town and yes that is a creepy fucking mannequin in the window. It’ll be dressed as Santa by the time Christmas comes. 
Wake up in the middle of the night and craving a soda? Don’t wanna drive the fifteen miles to the nearest down? We got a sodypop machine! It’s used A LOT. I’ve even waited in line before during the summer for a drink lmfao. 
Once you pass the Iron Rail Sign, we’re getting close! 
We’re home! 

I use to be 100% anonymous but I thought it’d be great to share you my town. What are your thoughts? 

There may be a video on here which won’t delete so bare with it! It’s a snapchat video lol. 

November Photo A Day Challenge. 

Today’s the 29th! 

“Look at what I saw today”: 

​went to Hagerstown for my doctors appointment. Rained the whole day. Didn’t really “see” anything exciting, so this will have to do for today:) 

I’m so sorry I’ve been mia almost everyday but I’ll be getting back into posting at least once a day here soon! Once work slows down 


November Photo A Day Challenge! 

Ah yesterday I worked a 13 hour shift and today is another 13 hour shift! I’ve been working for exactly 7 hours and 3 minutes so far today. 

Had a little break, figured it’d be best to do my Photo A Day Challenge now:) 

Today is day 27, “scarf(s)”! 

I literally only have one scarf at the moment, will have two after the other arrives in mail:) 

Here is the only one I have: 

The Smell Of The Holidays

I’m too excited for the holidays to start, and snow covering the grounds. 

I have all my holiday candles out and lit for today:) 

In the hallway entrance I got my “Maple Cinnamon Pancakes” candle from Bath and Body. 
In the living room I have my “Hippie Love Smoke Odor” from a ma and paw store around here  lit. It smells like green apples, eliminates the smoke smell:) 
In the Kitchen I have my “Hot Cocoa & Cream” candle from Bath and Body Works lit:) It smells delicious when burning! 
And then at the front door I have my “Pumpkin Pecan Waffles” candle from Bath and Body Works lit:) 
If you can’t tell, I have a candle obsession. It reallllyyy helps that my neice works at Bath and Body and surprises me with a new candle about once every few weeks:) 

What’s your favorite brand of candle and scent? Let me know so I can try it out! 


November Photo A Day Challenge. 

I’m very behind on this challenge, and I created it myself:/ Things haven’t been good for me mentally but other than that I can’t complain. Things are awesome at home with Nikki, good with the family, just me I guess. 

Anyway, let’s catch up shall we. 

Today’s the 26th, so “Outside My Window”. Haha I just so happen to be sitting by the living room window on my computer working:) 

My view from exactly where I am sitting, just turned around lmfao. 

And outside…it looks so cold and icky outside, and it’s fucking freezing!



Guys, I’m so sorry I’ve been so M.I.A this past few week. 

Thanksgiving was awesome but at the same time hectic because everyone decided to have dinner around the same time and I worked this year. Nikki dropped me off at my Sisters house, while she went to her moms to eat. 

I stayed at my sisters for literally 45 minutes, just enough time to eat and say my hellos/goodbyes. My niece then took me to Nikki’s moms and dropped me off. 

I was at her moms for probably 25 minutes before her mom and brother headed off to early Black Friday shopping around 5:30pm. Nikki and I sat around and chatted for a bit and then headed to her grandparents to take them some food. 

After visiting with her grandparents for a while we came home, ate some left overs and then passed out so early!! 

Yesterday was Black Friday and was a big success for me. As someone who suffers badly with social anxiety, going in anystore on any regular day is difficult, let alone on Black Friday! 

The little stores I was fine, i went into Dollar General with not one problem, then into Roses, again no problem. Then we get to the mall and Walmart, parking lot was packed all the way to the bottom. 

I could feel my heart starting to beat faster, my stomache starting to cramp up and the air getting thinner and thinner the closer we got to finding a spot to park. 

I convinced myself I was not going in, and Nikki understood completely, left the keys in the car and started walking towards to the mall. 

I looked up and saw my gorgeous fiancé who has done so much by herself over the past 4 years because of my anxiety, walking with her head down towards the mall. 

I immediately said “fuck it”, threw my shoes on, locked the doors, and ran after Nikki. 

She had the biggest smile on her face and I lived! 

Ahh needless to say, I fucking did it. Walmart? Hell yeah, Hallmark? Mhm, Aeropostale? Yes ma’am, Bath and Body Works? of course, Liquor store? Yes yes I did:) 
It was so packed, I kept my head down pretty much the whole time, and then eventually my brain was actually capable of having the “idgaf attitude” and I loved it. I haven’t been able to fully enjoy myself in my own hometown mall in a while, it was amazing! 

We came home, ate some chick fil a and wrapped the presents:) 

Some tree shots! Before presents^^^ 
Hope everyone’s Thanksgiving went great, and hopefully I start doing better mentally. Been some rough past few days, but at least I can I actually attending Black Friday shopping, woah! 

🦃Gobble gobble🦃