So here I am sitting at the edge of my bed, dressed, hair straightened, teeth brushed. I have a hearing in court at 11, for SSI, and my anxiety is really starting to give me trouble. I’m anxious as hell, I’ve puked a number of 3 times already, this is shit.
People don’t understand how paralyzing anxiety can make people feel. I just keep starring at my clock and debating whether I can actually do this. I’ve waiting almost 4 years for this day and now that it’s here, Jesus I’m terrified.
These are the times i feel lost in life, how can something so little make me feel so tiny, so disabled? Why can’t I get dressed and walk out the door like a “normal” person. No no that’d be too easy Cyerra, you must spend at LEAST 15-25 minutes freaking the fuck out over the stupidest what if’s.
My stomache is churning, my head is loud, and my body is aching. I feel tired as hell and I’m not, I know I’m not, I took a 75mg Vyvanse, a horse wouldn’t be sleepy.
Okay I need to get off n try to puke more. Wish me good luck because imma need it.
Son of a bitch.