Made me feel like the biggest P.O.S alive. Made me feel like they thought I was lying. Made me feel stupid. Made me feel unreliable. Made me feel worthless. Made me feel confused. My lawyer dropped me so I had to stand and talk by myself. I stuttered, got eye rolls from everyone in there. Answered all questions complete and honest as I could.
I don’t think I got it. According to the woman that was against me getting it, I’m 100% and no reason I shouldn’t be able to work in a public setting. I began to cry because I actually can’t do that, and my reason feels so real. I wanted to badly to tell her and the judge, “I wish you had these “problems” for one fucking day and then tell me I have no reason you dumb mother fuckers.
They said I am able to work if it’s a low learning job and doesn’t require a lot of knowledge. Excuse me, im not fucking stupid. You shouldn’t make me feel stupid! I did very well in school, I like to learn, don’t you dare tell me I need a job for a “slower” person?! Why would you say that to me?!
I’ve been crying since I got home. I feel I’ve waisted my time again. I feel I’ll never become something that is worth something in people’s eyes. I feel I’ll forever be working online for 3 days a week, barely making ends meat, living off of my fiancé and parents, and that’s not me. I’d rather be dead.
Today’s been shit, getting ready to clean and then I’ll post more if I’m up to it.
Hope everyone’s day is going alright.