I haven’t felt like this in a while. I haven’t felt this shitty in years. My head is all time confused. My brain is over stressed n tired. My eyes n face hurt from the crying. My scalp hurts from pulling on my hair. I feel depressed as fuck. I am at an all time low right now. 

They told me this shit would get easier as I grew. They lied. This shit ain’t easy. Will it ever be easy? Probably not. 

I was so ready to go back to the hospital last night. I always end up calming myself down. Then it just starts all over again the next day. 

Something needs to change, now. I’m mentally tired as fuck. 

Other news, we rescued a new kitten. Poor thing was covered in fleas, mites and worms. We think we’re worm free, he had tape worms, gave him meds and no more worms in poop but his belly is still so swollen, any one with experience know if this is normal or not? Taking him to vet Thursday so I’ll know then. 

Just praying Joplin doesn’t get any sickness from the new kitten, we named him Talib after Aqib Talib on the Broncos. 

Happy Birthday Tabbi 🎉 hope you have a nice one! 

Probably won’t be on much until this head gets straightened out. Sorry for hardly posting, it’s just one thing after another. 2017 is looking pretty shitty. 




  1. Tabbi · January 15

    Awwww…thank you! My birthday was pretty crappy in some ways and yet very calm in others.

    And I agree with you my 2017 isn’t turning out to be a good one. I sure hope it gets better before the end…if it doesn’t…I don’t know if I will make it through the year.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. angyjenks · January 15

    I hope you feel better.. do you have any meds to try and get you through this period.. they might need to be change.. I know all to well about depression.. but I pray your good days come back my friend..

    Liked by 1 person

    • yourenotaloneinthisworld · January 15

      I actually jus started some of these meds and I believe that’s what’s wrong

      Liked by 1 person

      • angyjenks · January 15

        Hey if they are not working are to strong or weak make them change them.. you shouldn’t have to suffer like that sweetie.. I change meds so many times it’s crazy.. and the ones I’m on know are okay but I have to put in a lot of work as to not let the depression take over some days I win and some days I lose.. it’s gonna be okay..

        Liked by 1 person

        • yourenotaloneinthisworld · January 15

          Thank you! I agree, they’re looking at new schizophrenic shots that can help with my voices and also ECT apparently is coming back and being recommended for some patients. Not sure how I feel about that right now

          Liked by 1 person

        • angyjenks · January 15

          Oh okay sweetie.. well I pray something works soon..

          Liked by 1 person

        • yourenotaloneinthisworld · January 15

          Thank you! Me too!

          Liked by 1 person

  3. victoriamariealonso · January 14

    May you feel better soon! Miss your posts! Don’t write off 2017 yet in January. Give it till July at least. I have a feeling you will get back in a good groove soon. Praying for you:)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. socialworkerangela · January 14

    I am always hoping it’ll get easier but it doesn’t seem too. Hugs to you

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Betcha didn't know! · January 14

    Things will get better. Things never stay the same. Life keeps moving. Life still has beautiful things to offer, you just have to stop and look for them. And rescuing a cat is a good start.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Liz C. · January 14

    😦 it sucks to be depressed. Sending you a virtual hug..

    Liked by 1 person

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