ChechTrail Repost.

It’s nice to know I’m not the only conspiracy theory freak out there. I believe in chemtrails and weather control 100%. I honestly don’t know how you couldn’t with all the literal proof right in front of our eyes. Do a little research on it, and let me know what you think about weather control via chemtrails.

I’m one of those people that don’t trust the government at all, no matter what country I would live in, I still wouldn’t trust the government. I don’t believe they’re here to help their people, to protect their country, or even give a flying fuck about the people of their country.

So, if I don’t believe governments are good, why wouldn’t I believe they do harmful things behind our backs? To me, I’d love for the whole truth and nothing but the truth about EVERYTHING the government has done and seen since they’ve been keeping us in our “blind box” of stupidity.

Check out the video I found today while scrolling through my feed by clicking on the link below.


“This is a rare video of 3 chemtrails jets taken by a fourth jet keeping pace from above and behind

via EPIC VIDEO: 3 Chemtrails Tankers Filmed From Above | Air-To-Air — Chemtrails: The Exotic Weapon

Advertisements

Rant.

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of criticism towards Schizophrenia. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that each and every person is entitled to their own opinion, but oh dear lord some of you people really irk my nerves.

irkmynerves.jpg

For example, the other day a person decided to put her/his two cents into “what Schizophrenia is like to a Schizophrenic”. Now, I totally understand that I don’t walk around with a sign on my back saying “I’m a schizophrenic”. That’s what is really fucked up, this person knows that I AM a schizophrenic, but still decided to “guess” what it’s like for a Schizophrenic.

schizo.jpg

She/He says they believe that our “voices” are a part of us, apart of our soul trying to “climb” out of us, but “us” is the dominant part of our soul, that’s why we’re who we are today.

kevinhart.jpg

I just kind of sat there with the blank expression on my face and just kind of nodded before changing the subject. I didn’t speak up, because what the hell was i going to say without expressing what my “voices” tell me .

voices.jpg

I can’t believe this theory she/he has proposed. Due to the fact that my “voices” are not something I would ever imagine myself being or acting like. The things I hear on a day to day basis are things “normal” people can’t even imagine, thing’s I can’t even imagine, and I hear it constantly. I couldn’t stand up and start yelling “NO NO NO, WHY WOULD I EVER THINK ABOUT GRUESOME, AWFUL, THINGS?!” “THAT’S NOT ME, THAT’S NOT WHO I AM, YOU KNOW THIS!” But just saying that sounds crazy?

nightmare.jpg

Now I’m not saying that every day my voices are chatting up a storm in my head about murder and bloody scenes, but I’d also be lying if I said my head didn’t come up with fucked up shit. But there are still good days, where my voices actually seem “ok” with me, talk about nice things, cheer me on in life, and help me with day to day things. BUT THAT’S ON A GOOD DAY!

happypeople.jpg

If my voices were constantly positive, then hell yeah maybe I’d be able to accept this proposal on Schizophrenia. The fact that my voices aren’t ALWAYS the nicest, I can’t believe that this theory is even a possibility, I won’t believe it.

\I will admit, I don’t know EVERYTHING there is to know about Paranoid Schizophrenia, but I do my research, I read books, watch documentaries, and follow tons of Schizophrenic sites on WordPress and Pinterest. I don’t really read it, to see if I’m a “normal schizophrenic”, I totally understand we’re all different, our voices are different, our thoughts, emotions, etc. I honestly read it just to see if there is any hope that my “voices” one day will never be there.

_86138691_brainscans.png

Until I find a post that I find reasonable for ME, or something I find “ok” for ME to believe and have hope in, than I will.

imjustme.jpg

But for right now, my voices are my “voices” whether it’s “my soul’s”, my thoughts, or straight up my head making up shit, oh well it’s me. I can’t help that I’m a Schizophrenic anymore than you can help if your indian/white/black/straight/gay/american/etc.

labels.jpg

Every stigma in this damn world needs to end, whatever it is, just stop.

img_1112-160

Can I Recommend A Few Netflix Shows?!

Since I have social anxiety, I spend ALOT of time sitting on the living room sofa, binge watching Netflix series. I currently started watching a couple new shows, one to watch when my fiance is at work, and one to watch with her when she gets home.

We’re right now waiting for Orange Is The New Black to release the new season, so in the meantime we figured we’d start a new show to get us through the month. Little did I know, I would have already finished my episodes before Nikki and I finished our show together. Enough about this, let’s get to the shows:

Okay first off, we have “Grace and Frankie”.

grace and frankie.jpg

This is the show I decided to watch while my fiance is at work, and omg I freaking love it. I actually just watched the last episode of season 2, which is all Netflix has right now available. It’s about two older women (Grace and Frankie) who go through a divorce because their husbands (Richard and Saul) admit to being gay, and being in love with each other. It’s seriously an amazing show, Frankie is hands down my favorite character on the show. She’s a down to earth older hippie who smokes weed and lives on the beach, with an amazing sense of humor, lol. 5/5 Stars, you go Glen Coco!

Secondly, we have “Baby Daddy”.

babydaddy.jpg

This is the show that Nikki and I decided to watch while she was home from work. We just clicked on it to see if it would be funny, and then we seen “Barbara Jean” from “Reba” was in it, and we knew we’d love it! We’re currently on Season 3, and it’s amazing! There are 5 seasons total on Netflix so far, so a great binge watching show! The show is about a young boy (Ben) who has a drunken one night stand with a girl and said girl ends up leaving their child on his doorstep. The show is about Ben, his best friends (Tucker and Riley), his brother (Danny), and his mom (Bonnie) all raising the new baby (Emma). It’s definitely a drama/comedy tv show, and so far I’m loving it! Tucker is played by Tahj Mowry from Sister Sister, Ben is played by Jean-Luc Bilodeau from LOL, Riley is played by from Fish Hooks, Bonnie is played by Melissa Peterman from Reba. 4/5 Stars SO FAR!

Have you seen these shows yet? If so let me know how you like or dislike them in the comments below!

Hope everyones having a good day!

img_1112-160

Sunshine Blogger Award! 

A big thanks to Stephanie over at Making Time For Me, for nominating me for this awesome award! Stephanie is definitely a great blogger worth a follow!
The Rules: 

  • Thank the person who nominated you.
  • Answer the questions from the person who nominated you!
  • Nominate other bloggers for this award.
  • Write the same amount of questions for the people you nominate!
  • Notify the bloggers of their nomination!

Questions From Stephanie:

  1. Are you where you thought you would be at this stage in your life? Yes and no. Yes because I pictured myself in love with someone who means a lot to me, that’s a definite yes. But no on the education and career level. I thought I’d be graduating from college this year and starting my career as a teacher. But that’s just one set back! 
  2. What is your favorite country to watch show up in your stats? Definitely India, Sri Lanka, and Germany. 
  3. What is one tip you have for bloggers? I always use this tip, but to be yourself on your blog! Don’t worry about what other readers may think, don’t worry about the amount of followers. Worry about you and your blog. 
  4. How do you choose who to give awards to? I actually go to my notifications, the top people to last like/comment/share etc, get a nomination! 
  5. What is your favorite holiday? Definitely Christmas. 
  6. Are you spiritual/religious? Ah, I am not religious. I believe if you put out good, you’ll receive good. Same with after lives, if we do good here, our next life will be better. I don’t believe in any of the religions I’ve  learned about.  It’s not that I’m not educated in religion, I graduated from a Christian High School taking bible class my whole life. I just don’t believe in it. 
  7. What is your favorite thing to do on a Saturday morning? Well, I work on the weekend morning and that’s definitely not a favorite thing! But I love spending time with my fiancé before she heads off to work! 
  8. What is your ideal breakfast? Cinnamon French Toast with butter n syrup, stringy hash browns, sausage n bacon, scrambled eggs, and toast with jam. Bomb! 
  9. Did you go to your high school prom? Yes, 10th, and 12th grade.
  10. Do you plan, write down thoughts, ideas or stats for your blog? I seriously try to! I like to keep tabs on all the things I’ve already written, how many likes they recieved, just to get an idea of what my readers would rather read! 

My Questions For You To Answer: 

  1. Besides blogging, what’s your favorite hobby?
  2. Favorite currently watching tv show?
  3. Do you believe in Aliens?
  4. If you had to be stuck in a foreign country with no money or translator,  which country would you pick?
  5. Would you ever travel the world?
  6. The craziest experience you’ve ever had? For example: Sky diving, swimming with dolphins.
  7. Favorite sea animal?
  8. Have you ever been to the ocean?
  9. If you have a mental illness, which one do you have? When did you get diagnosed?
  10. Are you ready for summer, or want winter to come back?!

My Nominees: 

 

 

img_1112-161

Let’s Talk: Pit Bull Cruelty — Teenella

Previously posted on Teenella, This is my FIRST guest post! Please go check it out:)

 

 

 

My name is C and I’m the writer over at You’re Not Alone In This World. I want to talk about something that most people don’t ‘worry’ about, but has a very special place in my heart. Today I’m going to talk about the most hated and misunderstood breed around the world, “The Pit Bull”.

via Let’s Talk: Pit Bull Cruelty — Teenella

One Lovely Blog Award (look for nominations)

Thank You B.G. for nominating me for the “One Lovely Blog Award”! Please check out B.G’s blog!

The Rules:

  1. Thank the person that nominated you and give a link to their blog.
  2. List the Rules.
  3. Display the award on your post of the award.
  4. List seven facts about yourself.
  5. Nominate (up to) 15 bloggers for this award and comment on one of their post to let them know, you have nominated them!
  6. Have Fun!

The Facts:

  1. My 22nd Birthday is in two months:)
  2. I have an obsession with all the Black Ops for Xbox 360 and Xbox One.
  3. I can’t wait for summer to go camping and fishing!!
  4. I played Basketball from 3rd grade-12th grade.
  5. I’ve had surgery on both of my knees, one surgery in 2009, my freshman year (had to sit out most of the season), and the other knee surgery in 2011, my junior year  (had to sit out most of that season as well).
  6. I met my girlfriend/fiance/best friend/soulmate at the 2012 Gay Pride our town had.
  7. If we won the lottery, my girlfriend and I would open up a pitbull rescue like Villalobos.

The Nominees:

Again, Thanks BG for this nomination!

img_1112-108

Blogger Recognition Award! 

Thank you to B.G. over at Getting Through Anxiety! She nominated me for this award a while back, and I’m just now catching up on awards! Thank you again! If you’re not already following B.G, definitely go give her page a view!

Rules:

  • Write a post to show your award.
  • Give a brief story of how your blog started.
  • Give two advice to new bloggers.
  • Thank whoever nominated you and prove a link to their blog.
  • Select 15 other blogs you want to give the award to.

 

Why did I start writing this blog?

I began writing this blog because it was suggest by my therapist to blog about my anxiety, depression, and schizophrenia. At first, I was hesitant to share any information about myself and my “mental health problems”.  I honestly never thought that I’d be able to find myself being comfortable and connecting to strangers from around the world.

I also didn’t really expect to find so many people suffering from the same exact things I suffer from. Getting my blog and continuing to write and read others posts, has really helped me come out of my “shell” here on WordPress. I’ve gotten over the fear and posted pictures of the real me, I gave the first letter of my name, C:)

I’m really content with the way WordPress Bloggers have helped me. Reading some of your posts, that you probably think no one cares about, I can relate to…it really helps me.

I continue to write in my blog everyday and continue to comment and read others posts is because “why stop something that’s helping me?” It’s a little different than a diary, you know someone is reading it, you know it may be helping someone. I can go back and read the days that were difficult for me, and realize how stronger I have become since starting this blog:)

 

Advice for new bloggers: 

  1. Don’t care about who’s reading your posts. It doesn’t matter if you have 3 views or 1000 views. Writing how you feel and the honest truth about how you feel, is going to help you in the long run. I never care if one of my posts that took me hours to write only has 2 views and the post that took me literally 3 minutes to write has 100 views. Those 2 views on that long insane post about how awful your day has gone, you may have really helped those 2 views. Every time I see someone like one of my more sad post, I hope I helped them, I hope they could relate. Also, when I first got my blog I was so worried about being judged! Trust me, no one on here is judging you, not in the mental health corner at least! We’re all on here for a reason, whether it’s to vent, make friends, or seek help, we’re all here for each other!
  2. Be yourself! Write about something, you’d like to write about. Not what others want you to write about, not what is going to get the most views, and not what is going to make others happy. This is YOUR blog, and it can be about anything YOU want it too! Don’t be worried about who/what is going to read  your blog, be open, be yourself, and most of all be comfortable with your blog and your followers!

 

My Nominees (in no order):

  1. Sparkle&Shine: Writes about Beauty, Fashion, and Lifestyle.
  2. Moonlight Psychology: Writes about psychology, therapy, workshops,tips, news and videos.
  3. Tabbi:
  4. It’s just me, Josie.: Writes about mental health problems and life.
  5. PixieCake: Writes about her life, and more!
  6. Musings of An Insomniac.: “Late night thoughts of a fool”
  7. Reinventing My Creative Mind.: “Carving out space for creativity-one day at a time”
  8. Starrlet: writes about all kinds of things, definitely worth a read.
  9. Imperfection is Beauty: writes about a lot including art, mental health, and more.
  10. I Am My Own Island:“Because we all need to find a way to live with ourselves”
  11. Making Time For Me: “I am a wife, and mother. Just trying to handle the day to day, while working on myself from the inside out.”
  12. Bibliophile: Writes about a lot of different things, worth a read!
  13. Emily Mae: Honest Reviews and More!
  14. Happy Alexx: amazing writer, writes about mainly everything, definitely worth a read!
  15.  ANYONE OF MY FOLLOWERS!

 

 

img_1112-89

The Entertainer Blogger Award!

I’ve been nominated by B.G. from over at Getting Through Anxiety.  Thank you so much!! Sorry I’m just now getting to doing this challenge!

The Rules:

  • Write a post with the award picture.
  • Nominate 12 other bloggers who are funny, inspiring, and most importantly ENTERTAINING!
  • Add these rules to the post.
  • Thank the person who nominated you and leave a link to their blog!
  • Also, answer the questions down below!

img_1838

Questions To Answer:  

  1. Why did you start a blog in the first place?

It was suggested by my therapist at the time, now I do it for me. 

2. What is your favorite book?

Really anything that I can sink down into and get really involved. Love all harry potter books, love “it’s a funny story”. Anything about mental health, or anything I can relate too, I’ll be able to love to read it. 

3. What do you dislike the most?

Cruelty/Bullying, whether it’s to a human, child, adult, animal, it’s wrong. I can’t stand people just being plain out ignorant for no reason. 

4. What is your favorite food item from the mall?

Ahhh our mall doesn’t have much to choose from, besides Japanese Steak House, which is fucking bomb.com, and the Auntie Annes Pretzels, which are also bomb.com! oooo but our mall also has a chick filla! mmm, hard choice between those three lol.

5.What is your favorite pastime activity?

Fishing, Camping, Bon Fires, Tail Gates, SUMMER!

 

My NOMINEES (NO ORDER):

  1. Mee’s Musings
  2. Lilyoxo
  3. Anxiety Girl365
  4. Evhcblogs
  5. Ruby Slippers To Sleep
  6. KayleenPo
  7. Mae by Day
  8. Rosypop
  9. Musings of An Insomniac
  10. Ylee21
  11. Annabella Says
  12. InkedPrince55

I mainly nominated all new followers:) Thanks for the follow!

img_1112-73

 

Work.

 Most of you already know that I got a job about two weeks ago, for Saturday’s and Sunday’s. I definitely still have the job and it’s going great, but now I have another job! My girlfriend and I just started working for our friends company, cleaning city buildings like the City Hall, etc. Today was our first day of “training”, it went really well. I really enjoyed being able to work with Nikki (my girlfriend), it really helped my anxiety going into the buildings. Our “boss” is really understanding of my anxiety as well, since she knows Nikki and I personally.

sympathize

This job seems perfect for my anxiety, I think it’ll help me with getting use to going into work and being around “some” strangers (I’m talking like 3-4). Nikki and I both will be working M-F together, plus my Saturday-Sunday job online.

Tomorrow I have to work at the online job, so 3-8 I won’t be able to write or be on WordPress at all. BUT before I go into work I have a few things to write about tomorrow including a few challenges I need to write (I’m slacking)!!!

Tomorrow will also be my first day of participating in the :”The B.G. Getting Through Anxiety Talent Blog Challenge”!  So be on the lookout for that tomorrow!!

Hope everyone has had a good week and a good Friday!!!!

The-Sandlot-2-cover

Now going to watch Sandlot 2 with my lady, we’ve never seen the 2nd one, it better be just as good as the first one.

Night!!

-C.

img_1112-44

The Spirit Animal Award!! (LOOK FOR NOMINATIONS)

 0

I’ve been nominated by BG over at Getting Through Anxiety for the spirit animal award! Thank you so much BG! If you’re not already, go check out her wonderful blog and hit that follow button!

The Rules:

  • Post the award picture on your blog.
  • Write a short paragraph about yourself and what your blog means to you.
  • If you could be any animal, what would you be?
  • Pick however many people you want to nominate!  

 

My name is C, and I’ve never really been a “writer”. In fact, English and writing was my worst subjects in school. I started blogging a while back because my therapist thought it was the best option, since I don’t do too good at expressing my feelings with the therapist. I’ve recently been trying to get back into the whole reading books every night ordeal. I haven’t honestly read a book in maybe 3 years, but it’s like riding a bike, if you find a book you like, it’s easy to sink down into it and pick up where you left off.

I’ve been struggling with mental health issues for about 8 years now (well that’s how long I’ve been diagnosed). I suffer from Social Anxiety, Severe Depression, and Paranoid Schizophrenia. I’m a lot of medications, but I’ve taken myself off of them multiple times (not smart) and I always end up back on them, plus more.

I don’t consider myself anything special, I don’t have many talents. I can draw, and I can talk a lot if I’m comfortable around you. I tend to have panic attacks when meeting new people for the first time, which fucking sucks.

My biggest supporter in my mental health life has to be my girlfriend now. We’ve lived together for almost 4 years, and she helps me in so many ways that she doesn’t even understand. While living at home, it was definitley my mother, she did everything for me that she possibly could. If it wasn’t for my mother I wouldn’t be on the medications I am now, I wouldn’t have the amazing doctors that I have now, Mental health is not cheap.

I’ve grown a lot since my very first blog post, and I love it! WordPress has helped a lot by being able to write everything down and not feel like I’m being judged by everyone on here. I’ve met some awesome people on here that suffer from the same amount of anxiety as me, and it really helps to see how they handle theirs compared to how I do. This website has helped me open my eyes to mental health, makes me want to live more than before, knowing I’m not alone:)

If I could be any animal: 

I’d be a turtle. They’re slow paced, going with the flow, have shelter to hide from the scary stuff, and they’re pretty badass. I love turtles, I’ve had pet turtles and they’re seriously funny as hell. They’ve been here a lot longer than we have, I honestly believe they probably understand more about this world than us humans do, we just have no way of finding out anything from animals.

My nominees: (No Order)

  1. Sincerely Reine
  2. bibliophile
  3. Fangirl Fandoms
  4. Cinderzenablogs
  5. Teenella
  6. yourdaughtersbookshelf
  7. Ambi
  8. Making Time For Me
  9. Not The Average Mama.
  10. Gentle Kindness.