31 Day Blog Challenge: Day 1 “Introduction”. 

So I’ve decided to go ahead and jump in on the fun that I spotted over at Annebella and Kates page! You should definitely go check them out if you like challenges! 

So today is day one, “introduction”. I’ll do an introduction for myself and for my blog as well. 

My name is Cyerra but I go by C on here! 22 years old, part time customer service agent lol. What an introduction! lol I’m a mommy to 3 fur babies, Hazel a 5 year old Pitbull, Joplin a 9 month old cat, and Talib a 6 month old cat. I’m engaged to my crazy beautiful fiancé, Nichole (Nikki), we’ve been together for almost 5 years now. I’m a very hippie souled person with a love for nature and outdoors. I first experienced my social anxiety in elementary school but no one ever really caught on until high school. I was hospitalized twice, and diagnosed with multiple different mental health “issues”. I’ve came along way from where I was 5-6 years ago. 

Ok enough about me. 

Yourenotaloneinthisworld is a place for fellow mental health nuts to feel like they’re not alone. I first started this blog because my councilor at the time suggested it, to open my eyes to how many people were like me. I couldn’t believe how many people wrote stories about their experiences that was almost identical to mine. I want to help others realize, they’re not alone. My blog has changed from strictly mental health, to mental health and conspiracy theories, to literally everything now. 

If you’re a new follower go ahead and introduce yourself in the comments below with your name and make sure to leave a link to your blog!! 

✌🏼

Long Time No WordPress.

Hey Everyone, first let me apologize for literally not posting a damn thing in over a week. A lot has been going on with family and also our friends. One of our closest friends, Evenn, his sister passed away over last week from Cancer at 22 years old. The family has been in and out of town to visit. My cousin gave birth to her second little boy over the week. Our other best friend April (Evenn’s girl friend) had her birthday over the week. Nikki and I have been Christmas Shopping a lot and I’ve done my fair share of work this week as well. Nikkis truck broke down a week after getting it back from the shop that just did $2,100 of work into it, so we’ve been borrowing my moms truck. Our vehicle luck is fucking awful, I’ve yet to get my new car, still.

With all that being said, the past couple weeks have been insane, and I needed a little break from the world. I am back, and plan to stay back now haha. I also have 3 different rough drafts typed up for the guest blogs that I’m really looking forward to doing.

The first rough draft is for Tabbi, which will be finished either today or tomorrow, and then sent over! The second is for Stephanie, which will probably be done by this weekend and then sent over for some proof reading. The third is for a blog that I am not going to mention until my guest blog theme is decided between her and I. Since this will be my first time guest blogging, I’m super duper excited lmfao.

Again, I’m sorry to everyone that I talk to on a daily basis on here, just a lot of shit happened all at once and I’m still kind of wrapping my head around most of it. Today is my “catch-up” day, working on some needed work projects, my rough drafts for guest blogging, catching up on “Once Upon A Time” because I am so incredibily behind and it’s driving me nuts. I think my niece is also going to be coming up to talk and hangout, she comes up mainly twice or three times a week. We’ve gotten a lot closer over the past few years and I’m so happy we did. We were best friends growing up and then kind of became two differently people. She’s kind of stuck upish, and very indepent person? I’m more of a “fuckit” go with the flow type of person, so at the teenager years, we didn’t clash too well. But now we’re both adults and know how much we mean to each other and we both have a common hobby so that helps. lol.

Well, time for me to end this post and start “catching up” with my damn life.

Oh, good news. I started my new meds about a week ago, I’ve been keeping up with them. Voices aren’t gone completey but not as intense I guess I could say. But woah there, guess who’s gained 15 fucking pounds in a week? This gal right here, helloooo! haha I am now up to 167 after working my ass off to get to 130. Lmfao my weight is constantly up down up down up. The biggest I’ve gotten was 190 and my Junior year in HS when I first got out of physch ward and wad drugged to hell n back. I immediatley began dropping weight and got done to 160’s when I met Nikki, then back up to 180s and then back down to 150s and then I finally started gettign my shit together and went down to 130. I am now at 167 and I feel the jeans getting a wee bit tight around the love handle area 😦 Oh well, voices/depressed/skinny OR novoices/happyasfuck/chunckabutt

I say option two.

All for me right now but not for today, peace n love.

No Coffee ☕️ 🚫

I’m laying here on my sofa getting ready to watch a movie before I start work at 9:30. I am usually drinking a nice hot coffee right about now on my Fridays so I’m actually cheerful while working and when Nikki first gets home. 

Today is not like usual days, as I have no coffee. I walked out to the kitchen, put a cup of water into the keurig, opened the top and went to grab a coffee… To my surprise I see green tea, green tea, black tea, ginger tea, sleepytime tea, every fucking tea you can think of, but not one fucking coffee. 

I do a nice long inhale and a deep slow exhale, walk over to my pack of cigarettes and lite on up.

 Now, I need to solve my coffee problem. 

*head*Maybe take another vyvanse so I’m awake during work and when Nikki gets home?

*me* Hmm, it’ll only be 11:00 when she gets home, 11:30 when you’re off work is it really necessary to take ANOTHER vyvanse? 

*head*ok ok that’s right, but you “have” to take your new meds by 10pm, but they make you sleepy…what ya gonna do cyerra? 

*me* idefk since you know everything why don’t you tell me…

*head* call your mom/dad, take you to Nikki, give her a charger since her phone is dying and swing by Sheetz to get a coffee, are you that fucking stupid? 

*me* shit, sorry. thanks tho.

*head* but your dad and you are fighting, and your mom probably has a migraine, sure you wanna call them? 

*me* they’ll understand 

*head* if you say so…

*me* I can at least try.

*head*thats all you do, try. What happened usually? 

*me* STFU 😒 (annoyed emoji) 

Yes my voices are still here if you haven’t noticed. Conversations after fucking conversations. 

i have two hours until work, Nikki has less than 20% battery and where she works, that’s not ok. She needs to have a phone handy at all times to call 911 if anything goes down. 

Ugh. Today. Ugh. Today. Yes I meant to type that twice, not a typo. 

Y’all prob think I’m crazy by now. I’m gonna try my damndest to find something good on Netflix movie wise. 

Please say y’all got some Netflix move suggestions? Let me know in comments below or I WILL go insane in the membrain, insane got no brain. 

The later it gets. 

It seems no matter how well or bad my day is going in the beginning, it always seems to start crumbling as the day gets later. I don’t know why it is, I’m a night person, not a day person. Maybe because during the day my fiancé is home and night she is not, I’m not too good at being by myself when it’s dark? The paranoia kicks in the moment the sun goes down and cars stop driving up my road. I literally know the time each one of my neighbors get home and leave for work everyday. No, I don’t know them like that, but I know my paranoid brain like that. If I hear a car coming and it’s 1:30AM it’s my neighbor to the right coming home from work. If I hear a car after 1:30AM but before 2:45AM, I fucking freak. I mean full on freak out, peeking out the window, running from room to room turning out lights. I creep so much out my window, my blinds couldn’t handle it any more.  

 Lol can you tell where I sit and have my cig and watch for cars? Pathetic, considering I live on a dead end road. I hate the paranoia I fucking hate it, I feel so uneasy, I can’t even take a nap. If I’m watching tv or playing Xbox the volume is down to 3, seriously, I need to be able to hear if a car is coming. I feel stupid? I’m 21, and feel like a 13 year old when the sun goes down. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m just as paranoid during the day, it just feels more normal. Because during the day, I’m not tripping out, there actually is a few cars and noises outside of the house. But it seems like at night time I hear so much shit, I seriously laid here the other night and cried under the blanket because I had myself soo convinced that someone was standing at my living room window. This feeling, I can’t stand, I don’t want to be this paranoid. Can you imagine when I have children and they see their mother freaking out over a car coming up the street?! They would be so messed up. I feel so messed up when I’m this paranoid. 

Enough for right now, making myself just more upset, gonna make myself some tea and watch tv, or should I say read the captions because I won’t be able to comfortably watch it if I can hear it. 

✌🏼🤘🏼🖖🏼